Who am I, if not what I do? This was the question that haunted me at the start of the year. I began 2025 willingly unemployed, which was more uncomfortable than I’d imagined. Growing up in Asia, I’d been conditioned to believe that “a life well-lived” followed a clear rubric: education, career, family, being a “good person”. But who am I, bereft of that plan? If not in relation to someone else, and to a job? I work, therefore I am. ...
I was recently let go from my role. This wasn’t my first experience with an unexpected termination. In fact, this time last year I found myself in a similar situation albeit under different circumstances and with far more surprise. Yet this one felt like an especially low point in my career; unexpected in a similar way, but predictable given the circumstances. I was technically on an unofficial PIP prior to receiving the news, which was somewhat reasonable given that I wasn’t shipping and showing progress fast enough. I had taken on the substantial task of reconfiguring our infra from the ground up, all while maintaining the current one single handedly. I’d written about this in a previous blogpost, but this job stretched my skills well past my comfort zone and I was firing on all cylinders. With little to no onboarding (as is often common in every early-stage startup) I had to learn fast, make decisions confidently, and move at breakneck pace. In previous roles, I frequently had the support of a team or a more senior coworker when I pushed significantly past a growth edge. This time, however, I was on my own, operating in a completely asynchronous remote environment, building greenfield infra I had no prior experience with. I thought I could manage (I am no stranger to working through uncertainty) but this work was arduous and there was barely enough room or time for a beginner’s mindset. ...
I’ve been pretty quiet about my work life lately. But spoiler alert, I have a job (and have been at it for the last 3 months)! If you spoke to me earlier this year or read a previous post about my job search, you’d have heard that the journey to a job post layoff for me was an emotional rollercoaster. Interviewing was not a strength of mine. I spent months getting wooed by companies impressed by my resume only to get rejected after yet another failed technical. It was horrifyingly depressing. But just as I was starting to lose steam, I got my break and landed a dream role, in the most unexpected (but unsurprising) of ways—in person, at a conference. ...
A few years ago, I received news of a professor’s passing in the most bizarrely impersonal way we tend to receive news these days: via a twitter mention from a college ex I hadn’t spoken to in years. The memorial service was set for that weekend in Central Massachusetts where he and his family lived. At the time, I was living in Cambridge, which was just a short train ride away. But I never made it past Back Bay. ...
I got laid off for the first time back in September (surprise!) and it took a giant toll on me emotionally. For the last 10 or so years I’d managed to muscle my way through engineering jobs despite not having a formal degree in CS. I’ve had the immense privilege of working at some really cool companies, working my way from the front of the frontend through the bowels of the stack and (for a brief moment) into the cold heart of bare metal. I’ve worked on product, systems, support tooling, growth/sales pipelines, billing, and miscellaneous developer workflows. In that time, I’ve written code in Ruby, JavaScript, TypeScript, Golang, Elixir and (some) Rust and worked with some crazy intelligent people. I’ve given talks internationally and written blog posts about various deeply technical pursuits. While I’m by no means an expert at all or many of things, I share this to say that I have a chunk of experience under my belt. ...
2024 was the year when I finally transitioned from surviving to thriving. With everything that transpired over the last few years, I got lost in the chaos of my reality and it’s taken me a second to “get back”. I’m not quite who I used to be, but I’ve become a version of myself that I’m quite pleased with, same same but different. The year came and went, for the most part, without incident. And (for once) I have no one to blame but myself for any and all shenanigans I found myself in. I grew, I learnt, and successfully averted any major crisis. In no specific order, here’s everything that happened this year in a nutshell: ...
With 2018 drawing to a close, I’d like to take a moment to review some of my personal highlights from the past year. Attended Recurse Center 2018 was by far the first time that I hit the ground running at the start of the year. I successfully matriculated(?) at the Recurse Center in their first ever mini retreat and spent a full week in January learning and building alongside a bunch of incredibly smart, talented recursers. My project for the week was to ramp up on WebGL and gain (pseudo) proficiency in working with shaders. While I managed to somewhat accomplish this, I also spent a good chunk of time pairing on other recurser projects that ranged from building compilers to writing functional code in haskell. The week was wonderful, albeit a tad exhausting and I hope to return again sometime soon. ...